Not all girls are into Barbie dolls. Barbie is in the headlines and some people have been torturing the dolls for views on YouTube.

Captain Ambivalent has a niece who is no stranger to doll torture. She beat these amatures to the punch back in 2014. “She Tortures Barbies” was track three on Private Ninja Zombie and the young lady had just turned 10 years old. The lyrics recall actual conversations he had with his niece at the time.

This rather disturbing song has been in rotation at FunHouse Radio for two years now. We’ve always been a little unsure of the lyrics none-the-less. Lucky for us, The Good Captain released this new lyric video yesterday. Everything makes so much more sense now.

I look forward to watching the Barbie movie, but in 20 minute segments. I can’t look at the color pink for more than 20 minutes at a time.