Superheroes Start Wearing Safety Helmets – Shocking Announcements From DC Comics & Marvel Entertainment

In a four-page joint press release published this morning, DC Comics and Marvel Entertainment have pledged to portray their superhero characters with safety helmets on their heads. The reasoning is due to child safety concerns.

“We recognize the tremendous responsibility placed upon us to keep our young fans safe. In order to set a good example for young media consumers, from this point forward, all of our heroic characters will be seen wearing safety helmets of some kind. This includes our top-shelf properties such as Superman, Wonder Woman, Wolverine, Spiderman, and The Hulk”

So reads the press release. It goes on to say,

“We understand that children may model their behavior after what they see in comics and in the movies.”

That is quite a public admission considering all of the litigation that has occurred in the past. As recently as July 2021 a parent successfully sued for damages in a Minnesota court after a child sustained a traumatic brain injury while imitating the action from one of the many Batman films.

Fans were immediately outraged by the news and took to social media to air their discontent. On the other hand the move was immediately applauded by the Children’s Helmet Initiative, a grass roots organization dedicated to preventing brain injury.

There are a lot of questions about the thinking behind this change and about the plans for the films that are currently in production such as Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, which is set to release on November 11th.

We reached out to both corporations but have not received any replies as of the time this went to press.

Hero illustration by Sketch Iwerks

* This is satire. Don’t freak out.
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