“Xmas At K-mart” by Root Boy Slim & The Sex Change Band With The Rootettes

This wacky track was first released as a single in 1978. I first heard it on a 1996 Christmas Music Compilation from Rhino Records called Just Can’t Get Enough: New Wave Xmas. When it’s not Christmas, we also play “Boogie Till You Puke” on the live stream. Root Boy Slim was a strange dude.

But what about K-Mart? If you are older than 30 you may remember a discount retailer called K-Mart. They were headquartered in the Detroit Area until a merger Sears corporation in Chicago.

Back in the 60s, 70s, & 80s, K-Mart was a great place to shop for Christmas gifts. I always enjoyed going there as a kid. The music on the PA and all the merchandise was exciting.

They had small cafeterias to get sandwiches, pretzels, soda, pie, gelatin or coffee. It was however very nasty that people smoked cigarettes indoors. There were disposable ashtrays everywhere.

Winter 1974

“Christmas Tree’s ON FIRE” by Holly Golightly

The Christmas Tree’s on fire
It’s burning down the house
Flames are getting higher
And I’m try’na put it out

I’m beatin’ it back with a tube sock
And a cushion off the couch
The Christmas Tree’s on fire
And it’s burning down the house

Those are some of the lyrics to “Christmas Tree’s On Fire” by Holly Golightly The events of the song actually take place shortly after Valentine’s day, but we’re calling it a Christmas song anyway.

I discovered this catchy track surfing YouTube about 9 years ago. At first I thought this was a recording from the 60s. It tunes out it actually came out in 2006. There’s something about the drum sounds in this recording that makes it sound retro to me.

This is the kind of wacky holiday music we are playing right now on FunHouseRadio.com so if you liked this, tune in to the live stream for more!

photo: CityNews.ca

“Santa Lost a Ho” by The Christmas Jug Band – An Hilarious Original Holiday Skiffle

We’ve been sleeping on this one folks. I checked the notes. The Christmas Jug Band released the album that contains this track all the way back in 2002. Amazing. I first heard the song only a year ago. How did this stay under the radar for so long!?

The band has been around since the 1970s and the first album Mistletoe Jam, was released in 1987. They are still an act today releasing new material and playing live shows. The majority of their songs are original compositions in the Skiffle genre. Their CDs are fun and collectible.

Cats -vs- Christmas Trees – Precious Fur Babies Capable of Malicious Destruction – The Worst Crime Scene Photos We Could Find

Unfortunately for humans, a Christmas Tree is irresistible to a cat. They are attracted to the wires, shiny ornaments, ribbons, garland, and the tree itself. To them this is a jungle gym playground designed for cats. They get to climb, chew, bat at things and stare blankly into reflective ornaments. They get to perch and hide. They simply love it.

Many folks believe that cats actually enjoy knocking things over and causing chaos. They seem to enjoy enacting destruction. This blog will not offer any advice on that subject. Here is the inevitable results in the battle between Christmas Tree and cat.

reddit
boredpanda
facebook
reddit
taste of home
reddit
boredpanda
twitter @marj_cat
sad and useless
kktv
reddit
sad and useless
youtube / SushiAndRunt
sad and useless

There are endless examples of cats engaging with trees on the web. If you want to see more just check out the source links below. For this blog, we looked for knocked-over trees only. If you have a photo like these to add, send it to us in discord.

artzabox

SOURCES

https://www.artzabox.com/a/blog/ways-to-cat-proof-a-christmas-tree
https://www.boredpanda.com/cats-christmas-tree-destroying/
https://www.reddit.com/r/cat/
https://www.tasteofhome.com/collection/what-christmas-looked-like-the-year-you-were-born/
https://www.reddit.com/r/catsinxmastrees/
https://www.kktv.com/content/news/Cats-ruin-Christmas-tree-408071055.html
https://www.sadanduseless.com/festive-fights/
https://www.youtube.com/@sushiandrunt

All of these images were found on the websites listed above. If you own any of these photos and would like them removed please let us know.

“Folsom Christmas” by Keith Coleman – Parody of “Folsom Prison Blues” by Johnny Cash – Also A Cash Impersonation

Sometimes you stumble upon things while doing research. Here is a little gem I discovered in the process of researching Johnny Cash. It was performed live to video and uploaded 12 years ago. As the moment it’s gotten 9,000 views. Maybe this is the year it goes viral.

Keith Coleman is a Johnny Cash impersonator and he got creative with one of Cash’s biggest hits to create this track. We love it. In the video he claims that the Christmas lyrics were the original lyrics, but we think that’s a big fat fib.

The real Johnny Cash also recorded Christmas music but there are no holiday parodies of his hit songs to be found. His version of “Blue Christmas” is humorous in how much unalike it is compared to the Elvis Presley version.

“Snoopy The Dog” by The Great Luke Ski – Parody of “Who Am I” by Snoop Dogg – PLUS – Good Grief – An Awesome Fan Video

Cartoonist Charles M. Shulz would have turned 100 this week. He was the creator of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and all of The Peanuts gang.

I grew up watching The Charlie Brown holiday specials on TV. A few years ago I bought a DVD that includes several of the holiday specials. I’m glad I did because they don’t show these programs on TV anymore. I love to play the DVD but I kind of miss the yearly commercials.

We have a special affection for his cartoons in Minnesota. There are statues of the characters all over the Twin Cities Metro. It borders on mass hysteria.

To mark the occasion here is a great fan video. We play this song all the time on the live stream. The Great Luke Ski is an amazing parody artist. Everyone should check out his bandcamp site.

Why You DO NOT Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

“I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” is a novelty song written by John Rox and performed by Gayla Peevey. She was 10 years old at the time in 1953. The Three Stooges went on to record a version in 1959. Many others have recorded it since then as well.

In the song, the singer expresses that she wants to become the proud owner of a hippopotamus. For example, these Lyrics:

Mom says a hippo would eat me up but then
Teacher says the hippo is a vegetarian

The problem here is that while it is entirely true that Hippos do not eat meat, they are still very capable of killing human beings.

According to the BBC, “the hippopotamus is the world’s deadliest large land mammal, killing an estimated 500 people per year in Africa. Hippos are aggressive creatures, and they have very sharp teeth. And you would not want to get stuck under one; at up to 2,750kg they can crush a human to death.”

National Geographic has reported on conflicts between Humans and Hippos in Kenya over land and resources. They Hippos are not playing and they are tired of our crap.

So while this is a great song, maybe we should give plush toy hippos to our kids and some reserve habitat to the hippos.

(All I Want for Christmas is) My Two Front Teeth

All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” is a novelty Christmas Song written in 1944 by Donald Yetter Gardner. He was a music teacher at the time. As many teachers do, he asked his second grade class what they all wanted for Christmas. He noticed that many of his students answered with a certain lisp because they had lost a tooth or two in the front of their young mouths.

The song was published in written form in 1948 after music executive discovered Gardner singing the song at a music teacher’s conference. The rest is history, as they say.

A quick search on Discogs reveals that this song have been recorded by dozens of artists. These include Little Tommy Tucker, Alvin & The Chipmunks, The Andrew Sisters, Spike Jones, Arthur Godfrey, The Three Stooges, The Platters, The Sesame Street cast, and even Danny Kaye. My favorite version is by Nat “King” Cole.

Pretty nifty right?

What is even more fun is the cover-art found on the various singles, compilation and albums that feature the song. Take a look at what I found, starting with the cassette tape that I had as a child.

Below we have the jacket used on the Spike Jones version released on RCA Victor as a 45rpm 7inch record.

The LP below has been re-released a number of times on different record labels.

Below is a box collection of 45pm records that were created specifically to work with record changers.