Not all girls are into Barbie dolls. Barbie is in the headlines and some people have been torturing the dolls for views on YouTube.
Captain Ambivalent has a niece who is no stranger to doll torture. She beat these amatures to the punch back in 2014. “She Tortures Barbies” was track three on Private Ninja Zombie and the young lady had just turned 10 years old. The lyrics recall actual conversations he had with his niece at the time.
This rather disturbing song has been in rotation at FunHouse Radio for two years now. We’ve always been a little unsure of the lyrics none-the-less. Lucky for us, The Good Captain released this new lyric video yesterday. Everything makes so much more sense now.
I look forward to watching the Barbie movie, but in 20 minute segments. I can’t look at the color pink for more than 20 minutes at a time.
How can you not love this? Mikey Bustos is Filipino-Canadian and he’s made a damn near perfect parody. He’s perfect in the video too. It looks a little higher in budget, but maybe it’s just talent. This track is PERFECT for Summertime. We have this in rotation through the summer.
This writer wore Speedos to swim class back in 1994. I wouldn’t dream of doing that today.
Sun’s out, jugs out. It’s that time of year. The laddies are letting them show. Celebrate the summer blooms with Robert Lund. He’s the nutty creator of this track.
A number of people have created slideshow-style music videos for this song. You can find them on YouTube but they are all age-restricted. Here is an example.
I found the lyrics too. Go ahead and count the synonyms. See if there are really 99.
Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas Sweater stretchers, lung protectors Beach umbrellas, frost detectors Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice Jell-o molds and high-beam lights Every day I probably use 99 words for boobs Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys Double lattes, Ode to Joys Hooters, shooters, physics tutors Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters Double-WMD’s MRE’s and PFD’s Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes 99 words for boobs Gerber servers, holy grails Whoopee cushions, humpback whales Flying saucers, traffic stoppers Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos Soft-serve cones and armadillos Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes 99 words for boobs Midget earmuffs, warming globes Strobes and probes and frontal lobes Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers Tannin’ cannons, Mister Bigs Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs Jogging partners, saline noobs 99 words for boobs Two-point jumpers, Bambi’s Thumpers Rubber baby buggy bumpers Rutabagas, Chi Omegas Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas Congo bongos, bowling pins Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins Your claims I’m breast-obsessed are true We’re quite a pair ’cause I’m a boob too
Did the song forget to mention a certain word? Do you use a unique word for boobs? My grandma used to call them “chi-chis”. Let us know what you call them in the comments.
The unofficial “part two” of The Major Tom Saga, this song was written and first made popular by Peter Shilling in 1983. You may have heard the 2009 version by Shiny Toy Guns. Shatner released this version in 2011 as part of his Seaking Major Tom album, which also features of cover of the original “Space Oddity”, by David Bowie.
Since then Bill Shatner has actually taken a rocket to space and then returned to the planet surface safely. Of all the artists to cover this song, Shatner is the only one to actually live it out both on screen and in real life. Bill IS Major Tom.
The photo above is a still frame from Star Trek The Original Series.
Have you been experiencing pain lately when loigging into your Crypto Wallet or 401K dashboard? It may help to know that you don’t actually loose anything until the act of selling. If that doesn’t make you feel better maybe this track will.
Devo Spice published this track on The FuMP Volume 85 compilation. It does not appear on any of his albums. It is a parody of “All The Way Up” by Fat Joe & Remy Ma ft. French Montana & Infared
Stonk is a deliberate misspelling of stock (meaning “a value share of a corporation which can be traded as an investment”). The term was coined in a 2017 meme. It’s often used sarcastically to imply a vague understanding of the securities market.
Attention über-dorks! It’s finally here! Every May 4th, we celebrate Star Wars Day. May The FORTH be with you!
The day has been observed unofficially since the 80s, but in 2011, a group of fans in Toronto held the first organized event. The event included an Original Trilogy Trivia Game Show, a costume contest, fan- films, mash-ups, parodies, and remixes. In 2012, Disney purchased Lucasfilm and now the holiday is celebrated at Disneyland and Walt Disney World.
Bad Lip Reading is an anonymous music and video producer who intentionally lip-reads video clips poorly for laughs. They then go on to produce music to go with the nonsensical lip-reads.
There are endless musical production that touch on Star Wars. Maybe I should do a top 10 list. As it stands this would be the number one track on that list.
Remember, There is no “try”. Do or do not.
-Wacky Alex
PS: The image used at the top of this page is a still from Rogue One.
It’s been exactly 10 years since Sweet Brown, an Oklahoma City resident, became an internet sensation. People found her appearance on a news report to be endearing and entertaining. She was interviewed by a local TV station after evacuating her apartment building due to fire.
That report became a viral meme. In short order producers created dance tracks with auto-tuned samples from the news report. These too became music-memes. Below is one of the popular ones.
After the video was released, Brown became a minor celebrity. She stared in national commercials. She was on Comedy Central’s Tosh.0 and was even played by Queen Latifah in a skit for Jimmy Kimmel. Beyonce quoted her at the Superbowl. She reprized her interview in the movie Medea’s Christmas.
It’s Friday and even if you are not a slut, maybe have a solo session. You’ve earned it.
Literally everyone loves to hate the song “Friday” by Rebecca Black. People hate it so much that the poor young lady has been bullied about it in real life. That’s not ok! What’s wrong with you people?
Rather than resort to violence, just make a YouTube video. Bart Baker claims on his YouTube channel that this is not a burn on Rebecca Black but we’ll let you be the judge.
The song is so terrible that even this parody making fun of the song is not listenable. If you make it passed the 1:00 mark than you are truly a wacky person and we are proud to have you as a listener. If not, thanks for trying.
By the way, if your daughter is too much of a slut for your taste, turn her on to FunHouse Radio. There is a good chance that her chastity will return after just 24 hours of listening.
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